I guess that title is only relevant if a: you slang shirts outside of Fenway, or b: you purchase said shirts at such sporting events -- both of which this fool does neither. Although, the '04 Sox season did bring out the worst "fans" in Boston history, so this newjack might have sneaked onto the bandwagon.
"Oh my God, Tom Brady missed a Super Bowl ring this year. He already has three! How many more does he need!?" I couldn't help but overhear this particular statement from someone who says it so casually while wearing (what appeared to be) a waxed coat with fur lapels, pin-rolled jeans, dress socks (in the middle of winter,) and cap-toe oxfords. Oh yes, how can I forget about the nautical beanie that is obviously too small for this auditioning indie rocker's* dome in order to calculatedly reveal his unkempt hair? Also, who the fuck rolls their jeans in the dead of winter when it's 10 degrees out? If he spent less time trying to figure out the proper way to wear a scarf, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he probably would've found out Brady was injured in the pre-season that put him on the DL for the whole regular season. But even if he did follow sports, he'd most likely be a Manning fan, anyways.
*Upon hearing his initial statement sputtering his bullshit opinion about sports, this minor leaguer also mentions he is on his way to some sort of audition. My guess would be bassist for a band trying too hard to sound like Neutral Milk Hotel or Swans.
Chances of making it to Brooklyn: 10%. His chances would increase if the B-Line stops at Williamsburg, replaces his current glasses for some tortoise shell joints, throws on a pair of wool socks with ironic print or argyle, wingtip oxfords or desert boots, and cropped pants designed by Thom Browne or some knockoff -- all simultaneously.
1 comment:
I go to the same college as this kid. He is a musical theater major who struts down the street snapping his fingers and singing quietly to himself. I hate him.
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