I know I told you I was taking your picture for a prominent mustache blog, sorry, I lied. How can you even look at yourself in the mirror every morning? More importantly, what are you doing all the way in Allston? Isn't there a forest in Canada that needs to be cut down? Just kidding, I know there is no way you are strong enough to lift an axe, besides, even if you did manage to swing it your beanie might actually fall off and not just look like it's about to. That thing on your face is absolutely disgusting, I can't even come up with a good insult for it. Another day, another flannel. I should submit this picture to the Oxford English Dictionary so they can better define "Minor Leaguer."
Chances of making it to Williamsburg: 0%. Supposedly a tree grows in Brooklyn, but I don't think that's enough to entice this lumberjack fuck.